Sandy the Wonder Dog

Hey there writing this for therapy, appreciate the ear.
Gotta do a hard thing today. Something I’ve never had to do before. We’re having Sandy the Wonder Dog put down today. I’ve only had 5 dogs since leaving school and I can remember each of them like they were here with me now.
The first was a registered Irish Setter, Brena Morae Feleen ( the spelling’s wrong but only one of you will know the right way). We’d bought a couple of acres in Letohatchee just south of Montgomery on US 31 and the place needed a dog. Well with all good intentions we didn’t properly train her. She slipped her chain one day ran onto the hiway and was killed. I swore off of dogs.
But as life will tell you you’re not always in control. My second marriage came with two dogs, Grinna ( Black Lab/ Bull Dog mix) and Jingles ( Black Lab/ Irish Setter Mix). We lived way out in rural Verbena down by the river and they had hundreds of acres to run. Hallek came as a Dumpster adoptee while we lived there. When we moved north we were fortunate that our neighbors (2 miles away) were acquainted with the trio and willing to take them in. We would visit them every trip home and all three died of old age there on Mt. Manning.
The reason for leaving them was our new home and neighborhood aren’t really good for dog raising. No yard, lots of summer traffic, strangers walking by the house, etc…Then one day my 9 year old came with tears in his eyes and promises of care and love if I’d let him get a dog. Tuffy that I am I told him all the reasons why I wouldn’t allow it then told him if he went to the pound and rescued one from death row he could have one. He brought home Sandy the Wonder Dog. Jacci was a full time stay at home Mom at the time and she trained Sandy. Sandy only barked to come inside. She never barked just because all the other dogs in the hood were barking. She was protective but not aggressive. She came when called. After the first year the tasks that my nine year old swore to do were done by me. Sandy the Wonder Dog was mine.
So why am I putting her down? Cancer. After two operations to remove growths we decided that whittling her away wasn’t fair to her. The recovery, confinement and the giant plastic collar/hood, was making her life suck. She hasn’t eaten in three days and has started to act real confused.
I wish I could ask her what she wants. This Zipidee Almighty decision sucks.